Engaged, 27 year old, manager cheating…

Ok I’m just going to come out and say it.

I slept with my 27 year old, engaged, manager. I didn’t sleep with him just once tho, I slept with him/had a sexual relationship with him for the past 7 months!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted on here but it’s been insane. I went on vacation shortly after I posted my first post, then my mother checked me into a hospital and now we’re here.
How it all started: 
One night, he was drunk and sent me a text message asking me if “I played games?”. I made a joke about it for that following week at work. Next thing I know, he’s texting me every night. Finally, as a high schooler still, spring break arrived and I’d be able to see him. I drove to his house which was about a 30 min drive. When I got there we decide to watch a horror movie (my favorite). During the second movie he gets a little handsy, which I was ok with. Things lead to another and we start to head for his bed (the one he shares with his fiancé!). I started to panic, pretty much. I look all around his house and see pictures of his son (not biologically his). No family portraits or pictures of his fiancé. I tell him I can’t do this and he becomes very sweet. In the end, I ended up sitting on top of him talking about our lives for another 4 hours. All of a sudden he starts to panic (kinda like me) and I get the hint that I should leave. I assumed his fiancé was going to be home soon. This was back in march. He started to text me “good morning beautiful texts” every morning. Then we would text through the whole day while I was in school. He started coming over to my house weekly. He would text me for a few hours before bed too. I’ll be honest, it sucked going to bed at like 3 in the morning when you had to wake up at 7 for high school. 

I fell in love with him. I don’t know if it is actual love or not but I want everything for him. I don’t do a good job opening up to people. I don’t trust people ever since what happened between my parents divorce. I don’t do relationships because I know I’ll just get hurt in the long run. For some stupid reason tho, I had to have him. I loved everything about him. I loved the little dimples that formed in his cheeks when he smiled. He smelled amazing. He would always find a way to make me laugh. You would always see him smiling whenever you looked at him. His laugh was contagious, you could literally hear him from a mile away. As soon as I hear his laugh, I would smile. I got so happy knowing I was going to see him at work or whenever he came over. When he would hug me from the behind, I’d get little chills/a warm feeling. The most amazing feeling when it comes to getting to know someone. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted him to hold me forever. I loved the way he made me feel about myself and the comfort I had around him. I knew he was always going to be there to protect me.

He would text me about how much he was unhappy in his life. He would say he wished he could be with me or he wished he could sneak out and come over. He told me it sucks being in an unhappy relationship and that he is too young to feel this way. He told me I was beautiful daily. He said that I had a big heart for everything. He loved that I was in his terms super smart. He told me he loved me more than his fiancé sometimes. He told me he wanted to have kids with me and how beautiful they would be. He would ask daily if we could have one. He asked what I thought about marriage at such a young age. He was asking so many questions about the future and he was telling me things I wanted to hear about myself. I do really wanna believe he meant these things but I don’t really know. 

There were many instances where I thought he was going to end it with her. There were many times he told me soemthing I didn’t want to here about his relationship with his fiancé. I had to deal with the pain daily. There was always something there that made it seem like she was going to fight. 

Now, everything is different. He has completely changed. I feel like this is just because of sex now and nothing else. I told myself for the longest time I was just a side hoe, but when we hung out the thought went away. He would treat me well and everything. Then at work he would flirt with me the whole time or make fun of me in front of my peers. Everyone knew we had a thing for eachother but everyone also knew he was taken. He would stand right in front of me in front of the registers and ask me what would I do if he grabbed my head and kisses me in front of everyone. I really really did want him to but it’d look absolutely terrible. 

So that’s pretty much a summary of the good times before everything went bad. I hope some of you don’t look down on me like I do on myself. No, I haven’t ended the “thing” between us yet and neither has he. Wait until you hear about how things are now! Sounds like a great guy now I bet, but wait. 

Please guys, feel free to comment any feelings or comments you my have for me. It’d be greatly appreciated. Stay tuned for more about him and my crazy life that has trumped intro ruins!

Wednesday 23, 2017 🌺

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